Self Care is a Balancing Act
What is Self-Care?
In a society driven by consumerism, self-care often gets mistaken for instant gratification. Doing a face mask or buying that watch you’ve been wanting won’t make up for neglecting your needs. The dopamine hit is fleeting and doesn’t fill the void. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to treat yourself but are you doing it as your only form of self-care? Sometimes self-care doesn’t feel good at the moment. Self-care is doing something for yourself that your future self will thank you for. Most times these things don’t feel good at first because we’re all so accustomed to the reward of instant gratification.
Doing what feels good at the moment isn’t always good for us in the long term. Initially, you might experience a feeling of deprivation by being more self-disciplined and consistent in healthier habits because these bring delayed gratification. However, when we stay consistent with routines that bring delayed gratification, the reward is often greater than we could have ever imagined. In this post, I want to share some of the different areas of self-care and how you can work towards creating a healing plan for yourself.
Before I go into the different areas of self-care, I want you to use your imagination for a moment. I want you to imagine the most healed version of yourself. What do they look like? What kinds of things do they do throughout their day-to-day routine? Who do they surround themselves with? What kind of environment do they live in? How are they feeling? Take as much time as you need and when you’re finished imagining this person I want you to get a piece of paper and write “Healing Plan” at the top. Below, I’m going to list the different areas of self-care and if any areas align with something your future self might do that you’re not doing right now, I want you to add that to your plan.
One tool that I’ve found very useful in creating a healing plan is the Wheel of Life (https://positivepsychology.com/wheel-of-life-coaching/). It helps visualize what areas of your life are working well and which ones you would like to be better. The ultimate goal is not to be perfect in every area but to have more of a balance between them. For example, some of us might feel strong in our careers but maybe not so much in our relationships. No one is perfect and different aspects of our lives are constantly changing around us (the majority of which is not in our control). Rather than aiming for perfection, let’s just make the goal to create more balance.
Areas of Life:
Money and Finances
Career and Work
Mental and Physical Health
Fun and Recreation
Environment (home/work)
Community
Family and Friends
Partner and Love
Personal Growth and Learning
Spirituality
Each of us has a different idea of what we perceive to be success so everyone’s self-care plan will look completely different. Once you review each of these areas of your life, you will begin to see what areas are lacking and what areas you’re satisfied with. Then, you can rank them by which ones you want to prioritize moving forward. Think back to your idea of your future self. What kinds of things can you do to become that person? What kinds of things can you do that your future self will thank you for? This is true self-care.
How to be More Consistent
I have always struggled with consistency and self-discipline and part of that is because, for my whole life, I didn’t feel worthy of being cared for. Whether I wanted to admit it or if I was even conscious of it, I didn’t feel like my future self deserved the hard work that I would have to put in for myself. So many of us go about the world filled with limiting beliefs that we’ve learned growing up from our families, friends, teachers, coaches, etc. I don’t say this to blame our caregivers for the way we were raised but to acknowledge that we are directly shaped by our environment growing up.
Once we’re adults, however, we have the responsibility to ourselves to actively choose what kind of life we want to create. Do we want to go through life feeling unworthy, unheard, unloved, and unfulfilled? Alternatively, do we want to feel worthy, heard, loved, and fulfilled? Once you bring this to your conscious awareness you can begin to make small changes in your day-to-day routine. It might be getting out of bed to make a cup of tea and taking at least five minutes to think about things we’re grateful for. It does not have to be a huge radical change. I would encourage you to pace yourself. For many of us, myself included, it’s easy to go 100% and then quickly lose steam. This is what often interferes with creating consistent change in our lives. Instead, focus on making one small change. You will begin to see that once you get even just a little bit of momentum that was what you needed all along. Start small and focus on making one change at a time. Once you’ve been consistent with that, add something else in. Just like building blocks, you have to start small and work your way up.